Honesty: Is it that hard?

Why when people are faced with a question they don't like they say "I don't know"? Is it just easier than facing the facts? Is it just easier than saying what is on their mind?

Recently I have had someone in my life that their answer to everything is "I don't know". I just hurts because they can't be honest with me. How hard is it to look someone in the eyes and say how they feel. You know sometimes it would make life easier to just get your feelings out into the open. Why bottle up everything, because that just hurts the situation. Be honest. How hard is honesty. Yes, it may hurt some at first, but at the same time, honesty clears up alot of misconceptions in any relationship whether friend, significant other, or family. It would make life much easier to get the feelings out there regardless of the ups and downs at the time because facing problems when they first happen helps to create less stress later on in a relationship. Get through the rough patches at the time instead of dealing with it 5 years down the road. How hard is that to understand seriously. Anyways sometimes you cannot let your pride get in the way of dealing with issues. Understand that for a relationship to survive, you have to have understanding and honesty. Without the two, your relationship regarless is set to fail from the beginning. Both people in any relationship need to understand that they need to open up and not shut each other. Sometimes I wished people could understand the thought behind that, but it rarely actually happens.

Insurance: HELP or FOE

I am a full-time student, so of course, I have a car. Like every other driver, you have to have that expensive insurance. My insurance company was telling me that once I had my license for 5 years that my insurance premium would be reduced. WAS THAT A JOKE. They jacked up my insurance to over 1200 dollars a month. R U FREAKING KIDDING ME. THAT IS BS right there. Anyways, I decided that I would shop around for car insurance this time. Can you believe this I decided to go to GEICO and see what they would charge me. So, I pulled out my old policy on my car. I went to GEICO and put in all my information. Well, you would not believe that for my policy that includes me, my mom, and our 2 cars was going to be reduced down to under $400, so basically that is a 800 dollar decrease. SO YOU MEAN GMAC who I had my insurance through couldn't have done that. NO, they are out for the big man to help themselves. Hey, let's over price insurance to get some extra cash. THEY SURE AS HELL ARE NOT GETTING ANY MORE MONEY FROM ME. That is BS. So, I will say that GEICO is definitely my life saver. I can actually afford my car insurance. THANK GOD, because I didn't know how I was going to afford my insurance at all. GEICO YOU ARE MY HERO.

What Would Marilyn Do

Don't tell me if i'm dying

You know sometimes you just have days when nothing goes right. You feel like the world is against you at all odds. Yes, I know I probably sound like the most pessimistic person ever. I just wonder why everytime I feel like I get a break something worse just happens right afterward. Sometimes I think that I have it altogether, but the next moment my world begins to crash around me. I have never quite understood why this keeps happening. Is it that I live in a world that is just that awful? Or do I make it that way? Sometimes I think that some people myself included just find reasons to be unhappy. It is so much easier to have something to complain about than to just be happy with life. It is hard to actually say this out loud. Why can't I make it easier? Why do I always take the hard way? I don't settle for the things that would make me the happiest. I am constantly running towards the things that make me feel the worse. Sometimes I just cry out that I don't know what to do with my life. I just hurt. I constantly do things that I regret even when I know better. I regret afterwards, but I guess feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all.

Another issue I have is that why do some of the worst things for you always feel so great in the moment. However later on, I think what the HELL was I thinking. I don't know why I keep doing these things to myself. Why can't I just be happy. Why do I always do the things that hurt me the most. Yes, I feel happy for a moment, but after that moment is gone, I feel so broken inside. I hurt. I cry. I am in so much pain. WHY, WHY? I wonder this all the time. Why do I follow my heart down pathways that are just full of pain and confusion. Why can't I lead myself down a path that will make me happy. For in the end, the life that I am leading right now is just one that will end up in me hating myself. How can someone hate themself? Why can't they just be happy with the blessings they have? I wonder why sometimes I just don't let myself be happy. Pain, Pain. I just roll in it every single day. I constantly put myself in situations that will eventually lead to my destruction. I need to become a better person. I just need to come out of this phase with my head held high and not worry about what people think of me. I need to be a better person. Just somedays, it can be so hard. Sometimes I just feel like my life is a dream. How can I be so stupid to do the things that I do? I just feel like the name God gave me is not even characteristic of me anymore. I am such a different person than I was even a year ago. I really need to see the sunlight once more. I need to be brought out of this darkness. I want to be out of this dark phase that I am in. I just hope that one day I will be strong again. I WANT to be INDEPENDENT like I once was. So, don't tell me if I'm dying, because I will come out of this a better and stronger person.

Here is a video that is dedicated to the title of this blog entry.

What happens when you want something that you can never have?

Have you ever noticed that you are always the person that never gets what they want? You always show up a little to late in the picture to be able to get the prize. I sure know I have. It seems like everytime I find something or someone that I truly want. It always seems that they have started dating someone else or the something that I desire is already gone. Why is life like that? I have never understood why. I just think that some of us will always have that short end of the stick. I hate the way you think for once I am going to get this job promotion or this really hot date and then BAM what happens you just don't get it. How is this possible. I hate it. How can everything that a person want in life seem to slip through their grasp. How is it that some people seem to always get what they want when they want it. For us unfortunate people, we have to scrape by and try not to be so selective, because whenever we get picky, we basically get a slap in the face with a reality check. Yep, some of you just like me have to know how this feels.

For example, I have this friend that has been seeing this guy for a few months now. She has known him for several years and of course, what do women do, she fell for him. Oh, but the catch is that he is a little unattached from his other girlfriend that he has been seeing for the last few years. Well, the issue here is that he cannot breakup with his girlfriend of 3 years, because his family has planned for them to get married and he feels that he has to stay with her out of obligation. My friend's boyfriend has never been quote on quote madly in love with this girl that he is being forced to marry, but he still has to marry her because of his family. My friend is so depressed that she has no idea what to do. Of course, the first guy that she ever falls in love with and the first guy that she lost her virginity with is attached to someone else. How does this happen? I wonder why she did this to herself. BUT I do understand that you can't always help who you fall in love with. I just hope that their situation will work itself out.

It is situations like that one that are just so hard to watch. How can life be so hard? It is just painful to have something that you cherish so much, but then later on, it gets pulled away from you like it was never yours really to begin with. Maybe one day, we will all get a little satisfaction and be able to take what we want, but until then, I will just try to keep being me.

Reality Check: Love vs. Sex

Have you ever wondered why people fall in love? Uh, I was never much for that mushy stuff that people talk about like the romantic life. It never seemed that precious to me. I always thought that people were to over dramatic when they fell for someone. How was it that someone could fall head over heels for someone without thinking logically about it? Call me cynical or what you will, but really love is just a 4-letter word. I always thought that, but perhaps being a girl myself I always did have that little wish that one day I would find my prince charming. Really, how wrong was I? I have seen so many men that just seemed like they were only in the love game for one thing. Ladies, I think you can answer this question for me. Most men out there seem to have one thing on their minds. SEX. Really is that all they ever think about. Most men want sex and most women want love. Maybe that is a stretch, because I have met several women that just want to have a sexual relationship with men and some men that want to start a family.

However, how can anyone say that having a partner is all about love or all about sex? It is not. People need to realize that with one comes another. Take this friend of mine for example. She started seeing a friend of hers, basically a friends with benefits type of relationship. Oh, no strings attached. How she was wrong? A few months into their just purely sexual relationship she falls for him. How could she not see this coming? Almost always someone in these type of relatioships falls for the other. When the other person does not reciprocate those feelings, one person is left out in the cold by themselves. Why do women keep doing this to themselves? Is it that they think that one day some perfect romantic man is going to come ride up on his white horse and sweep them off their feet. As a woman, I know this is not going to happen. No man is perfect, and certainly no woman is either. It just is not logical for people to think that they are going to find a partner that has no flaws. What kind of thinking is that. Ladies, the men in our lives will burp, fart, and probably snore that is just the way it is. You can't expect for a man to always smell perfect or not look like they just rolled out of bed. It is the same way that men should not expect a supermodel waking up beside him in the morning, because before the makeup and hairspray, not all women look so pretty. People just need to realize that love is more than that fairytale type of romance, because with love comes hardships. Love is not perfect. It has it's ups and downs. People are not always going to do what you want them to do. People are not perfect little robots that are going to do everything you wish. They have a soul and heart too. They need to know that regardless of what they look like in the morning or how angry they may get sometimes that you will still be around when those moments pass.

Love is more than just sex too. Sex is great. It is part of that relationship that shows that you trust this person more than anyone else. You trust them with your body. For some people, it is hard for them to trust someone so much to actually have a sexual relationship with them. It should be something respected. Also, when you are with someone that you truly love, sex can take you to levels that you could have never even dreamed about. Both sexes need to realize that life comes with love and it comes with sex. Eventually the two almost always co-mingle. Life can be so much better if you let the two happen together not just by themselves. Men and women need to embrace their romantic lives as well. Men are not wimps if they say that they love a female every once and a while and women can still be ladies even if they enjoy sex. These seem to be two of the most stereotypical things to do with love. Just remember that the next time you really fall in love embrace all points of that relationship, because if you don't take chances when you have the opportunity, you will be kicking yourself later for not following your heart.